Why?
Because I figured if my daughter won't allow me to be a part of her celebration, I'll share in the joy of another.
For those of you who don't know what I'm speaking of, I'll backtrack briefly and then I'll probably ramble on and on:
This Saturday, March 7, is when my daughter was supposed to be married, but instead in October - though she denies she hurt us - she chose to crumple up her family like a used journal page and throw us away in exchange for her groom and her new family......whom she had only known for a few months.
She eloped with no invitation extended to any of her family. Then she blocked us.
Yes, I've received a few random messages from her since, very short and claiming she loves us.
I am not trying to muster sympathy or play the part of a victim. Though, I'm not sure how any of her actions demonstrates that her love for us is true.
I won't delve into details, but it boils down to the biggest hurt of my life. And, since I thought I was obeying God by making it a mission to raise kids and homeschool them, I feel like I wasted a good portion of my life.
This girl was the rainbow baby I begged God for after losing 3.
For 18 years I praised God for answered prayers. Now, there are many days I reflect on that and wish I would have just stopped after my first miscarriage and focused on the two beautiful babies I already had.
Her life unfolded with a lot of mental angst in her. Some anxiety and such had good cause complete with traumas like watching her dad almost die. But most, I'm not sure there was any outside reason for.
I dropped everything to be there for her when she needed to be with someone. I would pick her up from work and surprise her with a trip to the mall or crumbl cookie or a game of tennis. I encouraged her every desire in life, early graduation and college, a job she wanted before she could drive, I taught her to drive. I actually just paid off her Invisalign and other huge bills she incurred and left me with for things she needed or wanted.
She was 18, in college and dating a guy she wanted to marry. Suddenly things started changing. She quit school, broke up with the guy and two weeks later met the guy she married just a few months later.
It all happened way too fast for me. We wanted to slow down and make sure this union was of God. Red flags began arising, like his mom isn't even a USA citizen, and he never picked her up for dates and she paid for almost every date. Her hard-earned savings dwindled.
She said she's tired of the arguments, but the only argument I'm aware of is the one that came two days after her birthday.
We gave her a big celebration the weekend before. On her birthday, she group texted the family that she was moving up her wedding date from March to December, about 2 months from when she texted us. Then, we didn't see her for two days and when we finally saw her we asked her about some things, like why the rush?
This conversation didn't end well. She stormed out and slammed the door. It escalated from there until my husband and I were miles away on Mackinac island when we discovered she was trying to elope.
There's so much more to the saga, but now she's married at 19, barely.
People say she's got problems she needs to work through. But, she swears I rushed her into marriage and that she didn't throw away her family, and she loves us???
I'm left with so many questions that she refuses to answer. But, I know she blames me for reasons I can't even comprehend. I'm left feeling like I failed her and everything I ever thought was my calling in raising her.
