Parenting from the Passenger Seat in Teen Years

Well. Yesterday, my daughter turned 16.... Today - She got her driver's license.

If ever there was a moment when I felt more nervous than my child, this morning was one of them. Oh, don't get me wrong. She was plenty nervous to take her driving road test. But, my job was to come along for moral support and for the prayers.

It's a strange feeling to parent from the passenger seat.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason I grieve my parenting days of babies and toddlers is because I was the one in control - Well, sort of. No parent is really ever in full control of an infant or toddler. But, when I wanted to go somewhere, I plopped my kiddos in the back of the car in their car seats, then booster seats. I told them what time we were leaving. I strapped them in. I unstrapped them. I toted them wherever I wanted to go, even though most of those places were for them, like library programs, etc. Still, I made that decision. I decided when and where they would go and what new experiences they would be exposed to.

When we went on tour or vacation, my husband and I decided.

When we went bicycle riding - We purchased two bike trailers so we could tote along our little ones until they were big enough to learn to ride on their own.

Those days were sweet. I was the parent. My children were in the back passenger seat.

For the last year, however, my daughter has been driving with her learner's permit. This means that whenever I want to go somewhere, she will pop up and ask if she can drive. You'd think I would welcome the idea of not having to drive, since I never really did enjoy driving. But, instead, I found myself in an odd position - in the passenger seat with my child behind the wheel. Ultimately, she was now in control of where we would go and how we would get there. I try to be a chill parent. I usually remain calm to the best of my ability. But, I felt the fear and the nerves of giving up my control and teaching her when to brake and when to accelerate and when to turn.

Ultimately, guiding my children through life is part of the reason I chose to homeschool. I never wanted to smother them or oppress them. I always wanted to make my job obsolete by gradually handing over the reigns, or steering wheel, to them. But, now here we are! My first child to get her license! The day just happened today!

When I woke up this morning, I told her, "Today is a good day to get a license." I guess it was.

Today is a good day to loosen those reigns even more as I watch to see her grow as a person. Gradually, my son will venture out and then my youngest daughter. Soon enough, all 3 of them will be controlling their own lives, and I will have hopefully and prayerfully done my job as a parent.

Oh, and by the way - If you are a licensed driver out on the roads in our area - Please be kind to my newly licensed driver.