Just trying to help where I'm needed while feeling Stressed, meaningless and misunderstood

My mom passed away in December. So, Friday I met my sister at my dad's house just to help him out with meals, cleaning, etc. I ended up taking a couple more boxes of my mom's things to Goodwill, which is always a whole new emotional experience in and of itself as I feel as though I'm saying goodbye to her all over again when I give away more things. But, believe me, there are plenty more of her things that I have hung onto and cannot part with.

Anyway, things went well. We helped him pick out new doors for his house, and ate lunch. I brought home two bags full of containers to fill with food to return to him so he has food in the house that is easy to prepare. I stayed till the afternoon and made it home.

A few hours later...

My sister called saying dad has 102.7 fever!

What? He actually looked more healthy than I have seen him look in a long time. How could he be so sick so suddenly? Of course, he didn't want to go to the hospital or to urgent care, which by this time was closed anyway. So, he opted for Tylenol and sleep.

My sister didn't sleep well that night as she kept an ear out for him just in case they needed to make an early morning/late night hospital visit.

Well, by morning, his temperature had come down to about 100, so they headed to urgent care.

Shockingly urgent care told them to go and be admitted to the hospital since he had pneumonia and were concerned about congestive heart failure.

Gulp!

Now, my sister's overnight visit, quick trip to help with small tasks turned into an emergency. They admitted my dad to the hospital and began treatment.

Meanwhile, I began juggling when I could get access to my car which my active teen driver has more than I do nowadays and trying to get a massive amount of writing assignments under control so I could also come down, relieve my sister, and help with my dad. Keep in mind that as a mother and wife the job I really hate most is cooking meals for my family, and the one thing that stresses me out more than most other things is taking care of a sick child, or adult. A close second is highway driving. Here, I am being asked to do possibly all three and in a hurry while setting everything else aside.

Enter - mini meltdowns and tears!

Of course nothing could go smoothly. To make extra money for our family, I write for online sites. I also sell on eBay and Poshmark and Etsy. In December when my mom was in the hospital dying, I purchased an eBay store subscription so I could easily put my store on hold when they needed me. I would do that simple click to hold my store closed for this trip, but I got notification that someone has a bid on one of the items. So, I hurried to package that item up to get it ready to send from my dad's house. I also sold an outfit on Poshmark. No problem, right? It's a simple packing job and off to the post office - but wait!

I couldn't find the outfit!!!!!

In a panic, thinking maybe I sold it on another site, I went through my stack of clothing I have listed three or four times. By the fourth attempt, and numerous texts from a writing site I work for asking for MORE writing jobs to be done and/or revisions, etc., I just broke down in tears crying out Jesus, help me!

He heard my cry!

Not long after I cried out, I found the outfit, and as I was packaging it, my sister called to say she had gotten off work and I wasn't needed until Wednesday. WHEW! I had one more full day to get all of these things in place so I can focus on helping my dad.

Also, THANKFULLY, my youngest daughter agreed to come help me cook.

WAHOO! So thankful for her.

So, wouldn't you know it just as I'm strting to come up for air and crank out a few more writing assignments with looming deadlines, my oldest daughter returns home from her Monday theatre/dance classes and is exhausted.... Progresses to a fever and now I'm not only adding the task of caring for a sick teen, but I'm also adding to my already full plate all of the things she usually does for us around the house - dishes and laundry...  Yeah, like I needed something more to handle.

And, then everything that would normally seem petty and small suddenly is a moment of upset and depression for me including any little hint at correcting something I've overlooked or done wrong or asking for revisions on a document, all of which happened, etc.

I HAVE REACHED HIGH STRESS and nobody truly understands. To most, I probably appear as though I am just a stay-at-home, teach-at-home, work-at-home mom whose everything is flexible and not as important as the needs at hand. Sure, it makes me feel worthless and misunderstood, but you'd think I'd be pretty used to this feeling by now.

It's time to shift focus and know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, and He still is a good, good God!

....Sorry for my rambling stressful rant. But, thanks for listening.