Thoughts during COVID-19 shut down

Well, our entire state is officially on stay at home orders now. But, honestly for my family this hit about a month earlier than it did for everyone else. My husband is a musician who mainly plays shows at retirement centers. At the end of February, retirement centers began closing their doors to outside visitors and entertainers because a nursing home in Washington state had the virus run through its facility causing devastating effects.

So, we have been affected by this since the end of February with jobs dropping off left and right and only a few keeping their doors open until it was mandated mid March.

Now, the rest of the state and most of the US is feeling it, while we are over here feeling its repercussions for at least a month prior.

Then, today a resident of a retirement facility where my husband performs is hospitalized with the virus.

What!?!

Seems to prove my point that it's not the musicians or entertainers or even necessarily the visitors bringing this virus to spread inside retirement centers but rather employees who are "caring" for them most likely.

I also made the mistake of roaming Twitter and saw all sorts of comments against how the president is handling this situation. That made me sad to see anyone turning this political. So, I remember that when President Obama, the opposite side of the coin from President Trump, was in office we had a Swine Flu H1N1 epidemic.  I wondered how it compared since I don't recall the entire nation being ordered to stay at home or daily briefings on the subject.  I looked it up. Here is the official CDC report:

To calculate the burden of 2009 pandemic influenza A (pH1N1) in the United States, we extrapolated from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Emerging Infections Program laboratory-confirmed hospitalizations across the entire United States, and then corrected for underreporting. From 12 April 2009 to 10 April 2010, we estimate that approximately 60.8 million cases (range: 43.3-89.3 million), 274,304 hospitalizations (195,086-402,719), and 12,469 deaths (8868-18,306) occurred in the United States due to pH1N1. Eighty-seven percent of deaths occurred in those under 65 years of age with children and working adults having risks of hospitalization and death 4 to 7 times and 8 to 12 times greater, respectively, than estimates of impact due to seasonal influenza covering the years 1976-2001. In our study, adults 65 years of age or older were found to have rates of hospitalization and death that were up to 75% and 81%, respectively, lower than seasonal influenza. These results confirm the necessity of a concerted public health response to pH1N1.

Anyway, I didn't mean to get off on that. I just have some random thoughts as I teeter between hope, joy, happiness, and borderline depression.

My middle child is supposed to graduate this year from high school, and she was chosen to give the speech to her class. She was also slotted to sing the class hymn with others. She has dreamed of this her whole life. Saturday was supposed to be the date of her senior prom. While she and her boyfriend had already decided to skip out on it and do something else, she still is grieving these moments as she danced around her bedroom with him on Zoom. She also has a nice role in Beauty and the Beast musical that is scheduled for the end of May but will most likely be moved to July.

Of course, we are grateful for friends and family who are helping us financially weather this storm, but I found myself hit hard when I saw the news that our July 4 city fair was cancelled. It's not that I wanted to attend. I never like crowds at all, so that was not the issue. But rather, the fact that we are now cancelling things into July hit me hard.

I find myself just sitting and staring wondering what the next step will be. When is it safe to come out of hiding? And, will it really ever be safe? I'm already a germophobe, so how will this exaserbate that?

Sorry for the rambling. I just have to get it out of me.

It's not that I miss seeing my friends. I've honestly not understood the stir-craziness of all of those making it clear who the extroverts are. Being forced to stay home is sort of a dream to me honestly and so far I am neither bored nor craving interaction. Maybe it's because I have had a lot of writing work to do, and when I'm not doing that my house is a disaster zone that has been calling my name to clean it and declutter for years. Maybe it's because I'm busy trying to drum up eBay or Poshmark sales. Maybe it's because I prefer to be alone on a good day. I don't know. But, I'm far from bored.

I'm not really scared either. Just weary.

Please pray for our senior class of 2020. I mean a nice gesture would be for colleges to pay for their tuition, but just saying.

Please pray for America!