To the Senior Class of 2020

While it may seem like a silly thing to be sad about considering people are reportedly dying from COVID-19, I am sad.

In the wake of the quarantines and shut downs, there is an entire graduating class that is being hit hard. Many will never get to walk down that aisle of a traditional graduation ceremony, and others will have to reschedule the event maybe into late summer when they are already heading off to college and unable to attend.

My daughter is one of them.

We have not yet heard if her class will reschedule or cancel. But, it's tough being held in limbo over the decision as if it's not important and we are left to just deal with it and roll with it.

Yes, we homeschool. But, we are part of a large co-op who sponsors graduation each year so we can have the experience of wearing a cap and gown and receiving that well-earned diploma.

My daughter was chosen to give the speech to her class. She was also set to sing the class hymn with a group, which was the only reason she has endured rigorous choir demands over the last couple of years. She is also my only child who wants this experience of walking down that aisle with the class of 2020. My oldest didn't want the attention, and neither does my youngest. So, this is my one shot at enjoying this moment and it's being potentially snatched from us.

So, if your eyes are rolling with lack of pity about now thinking, ok, but these shut downs are for the greater good. What's a little graduation in the midst of it all....

I understand the harsh realities and the judgement that puts us in a position of not feeling we have the right to grieve. Yet, here we are grieving this potential loss.

I've seen the uplifting sayings about how this class entered the world in the wake of 911 and now leave their high school years in the midst of a pandemic. I hear the sentiment behind these words that this class is destined for greatness, and I tend to think there may be merit to that. But, it still hurts to watch my child have to experience disappointment after disappointment and then be hushed in expressing this grief.

So, my choice is next - Do I act like that upset, sad parent taking on the emotions of my child, which I have. Through it all, the fact that she may never give her graduation speech has grieved me the most.

Or, do I become that parent who is encouraging and edifying, pushing her onto greatness?

I don't know if I have it in me to be the latter. I know that through Christ I can do all things. I'm just weary right now.

So, here is the point where I throw out some inspirational thought to leave you with. I could tell you how this is the stuff character is made of, that adulthood will present you with many more disappointments and you have what it takes to wade through yet another heartache at the start of your adulthood. I could tell you that it can only get better from here. I can tell you to roll with it, baby! as the words of a Stevie Winwood song once said.

Don't tell me that real life isn't about high school
Don't tell me how when you look back one day that none of this will matter
Yes, life will go on, and high school isn't the bulk of it. But, it is important, and it does matter!

Being jettisoned into adulthood without the rite of passage seems almost like getting married without a ceremony or having a baby without the process of childbirth.

I will overcome through the strength of Christ. My child will go on with life and learn to cope and deal with yet another loss in her life.

Right now I am heartbroken alongside you as we wait for a final answer that never seems to be important enough to address. Maybe it's being left in limbo that hurts the most. Maybe I just need someone to validate our feelings that we have a right to feel sad about a silly little day that marks a rite of passage.