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Saturday, April 6, 2013

Learning to Begin Again and Dance Again





(This is my daughter's ballet video from today.  She is dancing to "First Snowfall" by Michael W. Smith.  She is the dancer farthest to the right when the video begins.  I apologize for it being turned on its side.  iPhone are amazing, but not perfect.

From the time my oldest daughter was 2 years old, we took dance lessons with a wonderful instructor.  My youngest daughter literally cut her teeth in her class and while watching her older sister, while little bit danced in the corner.

Last year, about two weeks after the big dance recital for the year, the teacher announced that she would no longer be teaching dance.

I wrote a blog post about this when it happened, and it hit me and my daughter like a fist in our belly.  I actually wept and wept and couldn't keep my eyes dry.

Why was I crying?

I kept asking myself why I was crying so much.  I mean, I had been through many changes in my life.  Change never bothered me.

I think what hit me so hard was that I was mourning the passing of time and wishing the days of this amazing woman admiring my little cuties could last forever.  I also was grieving the loss of close connected friendships that were beginning to form with my girls and other girls in their classes.

To say this announcement was tough on me is an understatement.  And, my oldest daughter shed plenty of tears of her own.  My youngest surprised me by saying she was sad, but just not crying sad.  Of course, that would change somewhat and take me by another surprise later.

We began our journey to find a new dance studio, which was tougher than we had even imagined it would be.

We landed at one that was as close as we're ever going to get to the original teacher's instruction style.  But, it hasn't been an easy adjustment.

This studio is like a big lovable family.  But, I have felt as if I am an in-law trying to fit in.

Today was their first performance with this new studio, and I am starting to feel like it's all going to be ok.

Though, I will admit that as I type this tears come to my eyes remembering what a first-class teacher we once had.  And, as I watched the performance today, I cried when the itty bitties took the stage because never again will I get to feel as though my itty bitty is the cutest dancer on the stage.  My girls are growing up.

There's a Taylor Swift song out now called "Begin Again", and I cried when I saw that video too.

Yes, it's not easy to go forward when it means saying goodbye to something you've become comfortable with and accustomed to - Because it was A1 quality.  I'm so grateful my girls have been able to experience such an amazing teacher, and now they move forward learning to begin again and dance again.  I'm hopeful there will be many bright days with my new "in-law" grafted-in dance family.



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