T-H-I-R-TEEN!!!!!
Am I ready?
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| Let me pour the cereal for you, lil sis! |
Just four days after he was born, and two days after being home from the hospital, after giving birth, he helped me celebrate my first real Mother's Day!
I will never forget the first gaze into his eyes. The nurse handed me my newborn son, and I took one look at him. What I saw surprised me.
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| He and his lil sis early years!!!! |
I saw an absolutely beautiful little baby. But, that's not what surprised me.
What surprised me was the look he gave me. I had looked into many newborn, or shortly after newborn eyes. But, none were the eyes of my newborn until this day.
When I looked into his eyes, he looked back!
It was a deep, profund look, as if to ask - "Will you take good care of me?"
I don't think he ever stopped asking that question.
This child has never stopped amazing my husband and I.
His early days were spent with me holding, rocking and nursing an extremely HIGH-NEED infant. He always seemed to be teetering on tears, unless he was nursing. He took weeks to gain enough weight that the pediatrician was satisfied, and he started out life with us on our knees with bloodwork coming back abnormally high for thyroid issues and a horrible reaction to a vaccine, which changed my views on the benefits and necessity of vaccines. He never did sleep more than maybe a night or two in the crib we set up in his nursery that I hand-designed with cows in red kerchiefs and blue gingham print curtains. Ferberizing this child was not going to happen, since it would send him into crying till he was purple and throwing up. Instead, I began to fall in love with Dr. Sears' advice as I grew into becoming comfortable in my own parent skin and learning my own style of parenting.
...I decided sleep was more important than where he slept.
He has often led me into new territory which I was not ready to trample.
He read fluently at 3 years of age. Not because I was forcing super learning down his little babyhood, but because HE WANTED TO! So, he led. I followed as I watched him tackle a 116-page collection of Dick and Jane, and as he would sit, still potty training, reading his children's Bible. My favorite was the Story of Hannah! I can still hear his little boy voice as he read those words that I would later hold dear to my heart as I went through pregnancy losses.
He has often taught me a new way of looking at things.
Not so unusual to most children, this child has asked so many questions in his 13 years of life. But, the questions he asks never cease to make me stop in my tracks and wonder where he comes up with this stuff. His little logical brain has always asked, "Why?" But, he has often surprised me by asking, "What if it does?", as in "OK, mom, you say it never happens, but what if does this time? Can't I just try it to see?"
This logic-heavy reasoning has led him to do well on SAT tests, and will hopefully one day soon get him a scholarship to college.
This child is the one who, for many years, was completly hooked up with my emotions and knew exactly when I needed to be comforted.
Shortly after I had experienced my first miscarriage, I was in the car driving with him in the backseat. I began to cry. This little voice asked, "Mommy, what's wrong?" I responded that everything was all right. He quickly shot back, in his little sweet voice, "If everything's all right, then what's that sniffing sound I hear?"
This child has been my husband's and my introduction to parenthood. And, if you're going to start with an introduction, you might as well plunge right in with the challenges of a high-need, sensory heightened, genius boy child.
I cannot believe that it has been 13 years since the day I became a mom for the very first time. I cannot believe that 13 years ago today, I was at work full-time, and turned my calendar over to Wednesday, May 10, before leaving for the night. For years, it seemed like it was still that day, as I adjusted to staying home as a full-time mom, instead.
This child, now approaching teenagerdome, would rather be in front of his XBox playing Sonic or Minecraft than doing school, or most anything. He is extremely creative with computer-generated animations and learning enough of several computer languages to be able to tackle basic programming, and design two of my husband's websites.
He is also amazingly agile, though he really dislikes sports. And, he is brilliantly hilarious.
Yes, he is my son, and I am proud. But, this child has excited, amazed and terrified us as to what all he knows, and will we be able to guide him properly through life, from the time he was a baby onward.
If I could turn back time, would I change anything?
Yes!
I would change the fact that I waited so long to have children. I would start the year I got married and have as many babies as God would grant me.
But, I can't go back. And, if I could, I would not be entering the teen years, but entering an entirely new season of parenthood of older children. And, I don't believe I would have been given the exact same children I have.
So, press onward. I can't wait to discover this new phase - From babyhood to teenhood, and beyond.
Happy 13th Birthday, Graham!
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