Entering the Teens Years with my First Born

Tomorrow is a big day in our household.  My first-born baby, my son, will turn 13.

T-H-I-R-TEEN!!!!!

Am I ready?

Let me pour the cereal for you, lil sis!

This little boy is really the only human being on the face of this planet who is responsible for turning me into a first-time parent.

Just four days after he was born, and two days after being home from the hospital, after giving birth, he helped me celebrate my first real Mother's Day!

I will never forget the first gaze into his eyes.  The nurse handed me my newborn son, and I took one look at him.  What I saw surprised me.

He and his lil sis early years!!!!

I saw an absolutely beautiful little baby.  But, that's not what surprised me.

What surprised me was the look he gave me.  I had looked into many newborn, or shortly after newborn eyes.  But, none were the eyes of my newborn until this day.

When I looked into his eyes, he looked back!

It was a deep, profund look, as if to ask - "Will you take good care of me?"

I don't think he ever stopped asking that question.

This child has never stopped amazing my husband and I.

His early days were spent with me holding, rocking and nursing an extremely HIGH-NEED infant.  He always seemed to be teetering on tears, unless he was nursing.  He took weeks to gain enough weight that the pediatrician was satisfied, and he started out life with us on our knees with bloodwork coming back abnormally high for thyroid issues and a horrible reaction to a vaccine, which changed my views on the benefits and necessity of vaccines.  He never did sleep more than maybe a night or two in the crib we set up in his nursery that I hand-designed with cows in red kerchiefs and blue gingham print curtains.  Ferberizing this child was not going to happen, since it would send him into crying till he was purple and throwing up.  Instead, I began to fall in love with Dr. Sears' advice as I grew into becoming comfortable in my own parent skin and learning my own style of parenting.



...I decided sleep was more important than where he slept.

He has often led me into new territory which I was not ready to trample.

He read fluently at 3 years of age.  Not because I was forcing super learning down his little babyhood, but because HE WANTED TO!  So, he led.  I followed as I watched him tackle a 116-page collection of Dick and Jane, and as he would sit, still potty training, reading his children's Bible.  My favorite was the Story of Hannah!  I can still hear his little boy voice as he read those words that I would later hold dear to my heart as I went through pregnancy losses.

He has often taught me a new way of looking at things.



Not so unusual to most children, this child has asked so many questions in his 13 years of life.  But, the questions he asks never cease to make me stop in my tracks and wonder where he comes up with this stuff.  His little logical brain has always asked, "Why?"  But, he has often surprised me by asking, "What if it does?", as in "OK, mom, you say it never happens, but what if does this time?  Can't I just try it to see?"

This logic-heavy reasoning has led him to do well on SAT tests, and will hopefully one day soon get him a scholarship to college.

This child is the one who, for many years, was completly hooked up with my emotions and knew exactly when I needed to be comforted.

Shortly after I had experienced my first miscarriage, I was in the car driving with him in the backseat.  I began to cry.  This little voice asked, "Mommy, what's wrong?"  I responded that everything was all right.  He quickly shot back, in his little sweet voice, "If everything's all right, then what's that sniffing sound I hear?"

This child has been my husband's and my introduction to parenthood.  And, if you're going to start with an introduction, you might as well plunge right in with the challenges of a high-need, sensory heightened, genius boy child.

I cannot believe that it has been 13 years since the day I became a mom for the very first time.  I cannot believe that 13 years ago today, I was at work full-time, and turned my calendar over to Wednesday, May 10, before leaving for the night.  For years, it seemed like it was still that day, as I adjusted to staying home as a full-time mom, instead.



This child, now approaching teenagerdome, would rather be in front of his XBox playing Sonic or Minecraft than doing school, or most anything.  He is extremely creative with computer-generated animations and learning enough of several computer languages to be able to tackle basic programming, and design two of my husband's websites.





He is also amazingly agile, though he really dislikes sports.  And, he is brilliantly hilarious.

Yes, he is my son, and I am proud.  But, this child has excited, amazed and terrified us as to what all he knows, and will we be able to guide him properly through life, from the time he was a baby onward.

If I could turn back time, would I change anything?

Yes!

I would change the fact that I waited so long to have children.  I would start the year I got married and have as many babies as God would grant me.

But, I can't go back.  And, if I could, I would not be entering the teen years, but entering an entirely new season of parenthood of older children.  And, I don't believe I would have been given the exact same children I have.

So, press onward.  I can't wait to discover this new phase - From babyhood to teenhood, and beyond.

Happy 13th Birthday, Graham!

Rapidly Approaching Teen Years

Today is the birthday of my very first child.  As old as this number makes me feel, 12 years ago tonight we were welcoming the very first newborn to grace our lives.  With gusto, this little 7 lb. 10 oz. wonder would turn us into parents.

Child development classes in high school and study of childhood psychology to earn my Human Services degree in college did not even begin to touch the surface of what started on this day 12 years ago.  My son was screaming to the point of turning purple before he was even completely birthed.  Though we carefully planned out this gorgeous nursery to welcome him, he would soon let us know in no uncertain terms that he had no intention of ever using the crib.  This little wonder changed our lives and continues to shape it.

Today he is on the verge of teen-dome.  Next year at this time we will be welcoming a teenager into our house.  I will admit that he has already exhibited signs of being a teen.  Or rather, more like a 20-something year old.  I will also admit that while he is still a child in so many ways, he is amazingly smart beyond his years.

He learned to read fluently at age 3.  I say he taught himself to read because really he led me.  It really started because I needed something to keep him from tearing up my house while I would sit and nurse his new sister.  To keep his hands out of trouble elsewhere in the house, I would grab my bag of foam bath letters and my Discovery Toys ABC tape (yes cassette tape) before sitting down to nurse.  Sitting next to me by the beautiful glider we bought to deck out his unused nursery almost 2 years earlier, he would listen to the tape as he handed me these foam letters telling me what they said (like a cow says "moo" - he would say, "a 'H' says "huh" and so on).  Before I knew it, he was begging to read books like Dick and Jane.  And, then my favorite (the Hannah story from his Child Bible).

He now devours books - any books, usually college textbooks - on any and every computer language available.

There are times I feel like we are looking at him as if through a small hole I once carved in the snow, as if I cannot see the whole picture or questions I long to see and have answered.  We are walking into our last year of a household yet to experience the teen years.  We approach this with fear, trepidation, excitement and wonder.  We have heard that there are some families who actually get through the teens years unscathed.  With the force this child entered the world and the manner in which he constantly reforms who we are as his parents, I'm sure we will exit these years with a new relationship.  All I can hope and ask for is that the foundational love and respect remain and that there is a relationship throughout these upcoming teen years.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!