My heart is sad and sickened. This doesn't bode well with the entire aspect of bringing up little boys or even allowing a boy grown into a man to raise a family of maturing children. I have a 15-year-old boy, and I am married to a grown boy, called a man. I honestly do not know how I would respond if the news of either of these scenarios played out before me.
I see the news reports. If you haven't, you probably will.
In the case of the Duggar's, it was an act that happened when the oldest was 14. The details are sketchy, but most are reading between the lines enough to realize it involved his younger sisters. But, my question is: Who is the other girl involved? Is this truly something a curious hormone-charged teen boy did and now regrets, or is it truly a problem he deals with still today? Is it blown up by the media to make Christians look bad, or is it really, in fact, much worse? Is it a forgivable act, or should his wife be concerned about his actions toward their children and take action to protect them?
I have a lot of questions, a lot of uneasiness, a lot of sickening feelings, a lot of anger! I can only pray and hope that the true victims in this case are considered and helped or protected. It makes me angry that homeschooling and Christians are again in the limelight with a horrifically negative twist shined upon us.
Here's how our personal homeschool bubble burst this week as well:
We were simply playing an innocent game of miniature golf with a group of homeschooled teens when we got the news!
There are many reasons to homeschool, and there are days I'm not really sure where my reasons fall. Ultimately, I believe it's the best option for my family. Though, in making this decision I mistakenly felt as if I was somehow safe from the evils of the world. I was wrong.
I hesitated writing this, but in light of this and now the Duggar announcement, I feel the need to get my thoughts down in print.
Yesterday, I learned that a teacher at our homsechool co-op was arrested for the unthinkable.
I will admit that, after hearing the news, while I spent the afternoon shaking inside - I honestly was not surprised. Upon my first meeting with this family, I sensed something was wrong. And, what I sensed was wrong was what really was wrong. I'm sad that my sensing was right. I really believe that for some unknown reason the Holy Spirit sometimes gives you a secret knowing. Some call it a gut-level feeling. I call it God's whisper of knowledge.
I don't have all of the facts in the case, but what I do know is that the girl involved is a friend of my daughter's. This makes me angry that my innocent daughter now knows second-hand about these horrific acts that are supposed to take place only in the bottomless scum of the population. But, it didn't! It happened right here inside our little homeschool bubble.
Now a family is torn apart, and a little girl has lost complete innocence at the hand of her father - A man she should be able to trust and call daddy as she wraps her arms around his neck. But, he failed to rise to the respect that title deserves. He failed in a big whopping way!
So, now what! This family woke up today facing the horror of the consequences that this man's actions caused.
But, my kids woke up today knowing!
So, where do we go from here? I already have issues of not fully trusting anyone. Joining this co-op was a huge leap for me. I did it so my daughter could be with her good friend. In the process, she met other girls her age and the group of girls in this co-op is what drew me back week after week for the sake of my daughter. Now, one of those friends bears the emotional scars and physical ickiness that can't be undone. But, it doesn't stop with her. It wraps and weaves through the entire group of girls who know her. We are all drawn into the pain, discomfort, and ickiness of the situation.
Innocence has been lost! No! Innocence has been stolen!
It sickens me, to be honest. If I let it, I will become despondent and lose all hope in anything good. I will be honest and say that it has shaken me, but I remain clinging to the hope of the true Savior, Jesus Christ, in all circumstances. I do believe that this isn't what that Savior ever wanted for either family. I also believe that our reaction to these happenings are not necessarily a time to quote, "He who is without sin..." verses. Different situations, different scriptures are needed. Remember, there are victims who are or were children here.
Humans will fail us. Humans do horrible things. Some humans do horrible things in the name of Christ or contorting what the forgiveness of Christ means. It's tough for me in times like these to remember that what these humans did do not reflect or change who Christ is. All I can do is pray for everyone involved and pray that I am wise enough to act appropriately if faced with either situation on a more personal level.
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