Puddle Jump Through Life With Us

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Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Reflecting on 25 Years of Marriage

So, today is my 25th wedding anniversary. On July 18, 1992, I stood in front of a congregation filled with guests and said I Do.

My vows to him.....  His vows to me were put to music as he sang them to me.



Today, the clock has ticked and the calendar pages have turned 25 years later.

It's surreal to think I've been married for a quarter of a century. So, what has the journey been like? I'd love to say it has all been romance and happiness. While it's been some of that, it's also been a whole lot of life including the downs.






























As I stood there taking part in and watching my wedding day unfold, I wouldn't have imagined that 25 years later, I would be enjoying three children, living in a safe area, homeschooling, working from home, and several dress sizes larger than my tiny little wedding dress day.

Our 25-year story consists of a hubby who is a musician and began our marriage as a self-employed business owner of a Christian DJ service. He had given up performing and laid down his guitar and saxophone in an effort to bring glory to God.

We were both enthusiastic believers and gung-ho for Christ. There he was walking around the church on prayer night, and we literally bumped into each other as we turned the corner deep in prayer. We dated several months before we were engaged at the chapel at CBN 700 Club in Virginia Beach, VA with bronze and gold angels all around. We annointed each other with oil and prayed as we began our journey which would start in marriage a little more than a year later.

We first moved into a small house in a declining area of town. He already owned the house, so it was a logical transition. Actually, the area didn't seem too bad to me at first, but then there was the Easter a few years into our marriage that we saw a kid up the street with a gun, and the New Year's Eve when a bullet came through our bedroom wall.

This began a great deal of any stress in our marriage.

His DJ business grew as I worked as a paralegal and we began the process of trying to sell our house.

Fast forward, in May of 1998, we signed on our home and miraculously sold the other. It would be another year and we would discover that we were going to start a family together.

Our first child, a boy, was born in May of 2000. I quit my job after his birth to stay home and my hubby's DJ business was thriving. We added a daughter in 2002, and the DJ business continued to grow. We could see God's hand in our lives. For instance, the year I quit my job to stay home with my son, my hubby made up the difference of what I would have made for the rest of the year with his business. The following year, he made my salary plus what he normally made. Things were good!

Then, the economy began to tank, the local Christian music radio station stopped broadcasting, a few DJs quit and finances began to be drained. Honestly, we have not recovered yet. But, it wasn't just the money we were losing.

From fall of 2003 to January of 2006, we lost at least 3 babies to miscarriage. Two of whom I had seen the heartbeat on an ultrasound and hoped for life only to have my arms be left empty. This is something a husband can try to understand but never can fully grasp how it feels to have an empty womb.

Meanwhile, he began teaching guitar lessons and switching his work concept entirely. He began looking for a full-time worship leader position. It was a good plan.

But, God had something else in mind.

We still don't understand why the worship leader position had so much opposition. It led us from church to church to church to church, and showed us the very worst of the church community. Between the miscarriages, loss of finances, and churches slamming doors in our face, we had stress.

I'd like to think we were always the perfect couple, building each other up constantly. But, the truth is that we weren't always everything we needed from each other. As my hubby began searching for God's will in his musical endeavors, and I began searching for hope in a suddenly barren womb, we didn't always know how to help the other.

The life of a musician and business owner pulls them in one direction while the life of raising children pulls you in another. I was often left feeling as though I was left alone as a single parent raising the children. Our love for each other was still intact, but both of us were beat down by the trials of life.

In 2006, we were blessed with a miracle rainbow baby, and my husband was the one who delivered her as she came quickly and unexpectedly at home.

Almost 11 years after our miracle birth, our family was complete. But, our finances and endeavors of finding fulfillment by seeking full-time worship leader work were dashed. That, along with pieces of our faith.

We are not the same people who walked down that aisle 25 years ago. We have both changed, but at the core of each of our being is US, a union that God put together.

Through it all, we have had each other. Some days we work together with that enthusiasm of newlyweds with eyes filled of the light of faith and hope. While, other days, we lean on each other stumbling as if we have both been wounded in need of mending only a Savior can deliver. Ultimately, we have learned that if we are going to go through trials, if we're going to be poor, or if we're going to be blessings to others, we're in this together for life, for as many days as the Lord will grant us.

Ultimately, we know that a Cord of 3 strands is not easily broken. When that third strand is the Holy Spirit, we have a fighting chance of making it another 25 years together as one.

In the words that were printed on our wedding invitation:

Then will I ever sing praise to your name and fulfill my vows day after day. Psalms 61:8





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