I will never forget the morning of the day you died, mom! The snow was absoutely beautiful! It felt like I was in a snow bubble, yet very surreal and light. It must've been a bit how you felt transitioning into heaven before the throne of God, as I drove and took in the beauty all around me of white puffy flakes hitting my windshield.
While memories of that day, I'd rather forget as a bad dream, they are etched in my mind. Watching you struggle to hang onto life for reasons unknown to us felt like we were all gasping with each of your laboring breaths. And, then you breathed your last.
I have never watched someone die before. I can't say that I ever want to watch someone die again. But, I can say that I'm glad I was there by your side with my siblings and my dad, your husband of 65 years.
We had prayed for a miracle, knowing full well that we had already received our miracle of her life 18 years prior... to the date of a surgery from an injury that should have taken her life back then. This was among just one of the mercies God would allow me to experience through the traumatic experience of loss.
Other mercies included some odd occurrences that only make sense in the spiritual realm and I will probably never understand here on earth. Some are just too supernatural to explain to those who perhaps don't believe in the spiritual realm. Though, I cannot imagine picking yourself backup and continuing to live if you don't embrace that hope of an after life of eternity before the throne of God. The peace of the assurance that she left her temporary house of flesh and is now bowing, dancing, praising before her God is comfort beyond measure. The thought that she is now rocking my three babies I lost to miscarriage is an unbelievable warmth to my heart. I don't claim to have all of the answers as to how heaven works, but I know that my Redeemer lives, and Jesus, Y'shua is His name! I'm glad my mom knew Him, too!
It snowed the day my mom died!
It was the most beautiful snow I'd ever seen!
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