Some days I just scream, "I'M DONE!"
For the last 3 years, especially but in reality probably longer, I've had life hitting me with challenges. So, let's go back to 2018 to see what my family of 5 has gone through:
12/6/18 - My mom/grandma to my kids died after falling and hitting her head while preparing Thanksgiving meal for the extended family. My son took it hard because he had specifically prayed for one more year with her. My oldest daughter took it hard because Grandma was one of her favorite people. We all took it hard because my mom was the prayer warrior for our family. I felt as though there was now a hole in prayer coverage for our family.
2/19 - My dad was hospitalized and then when my daughter and I went to help him recover, we unknowingly gave him the flu.... Horrible flu that took me two weeks to get the temperature back to normal and a couple months to recover from enough to work efficiently again.
5/17/19 - My husband/my children's dad had a massive hemorrhagic stroke that hit his language and right occipital nerve. He still struggles with reading and identifying objects/names, etc. but is thankfully fully able to perform music again. But the trauma of the event sent my then 12 year old, who was there helping me get my husband into the car when it happened, into a series of panic attacks, anorexia/bulemia, misophonia, you name it she got hit with demon attacks on all sides. It also kicked off years of health issues for my oldest daughter. who was performing dance and voice at a recital we were supposed to attend. I didn't want to worry her, so I waited to send the text that made her panic and traumatized. My son stood up to the spiritual support plate and man of the house, but then it blew apart his newly decided upon plan for a college path to his career. The catastrophic event wiped out 75 music gigs and ended his guitar teaching job.
11/1/19 - My husband suffers vertigo and ends up in ER.
1/20 - My husband experienced a weird event.
2/20 - By the end of February 2020, my husband had a decently full schedule of building gigs back up from before 2019 when he almost lost his life. Then, by the end of February, we started getting calls from the retirement facilities where he performs that they had to cancel due to COVID restrictions. We felt the brunt of the shut down before the rest of the industries.
3/20 - The world shut down due to the pandemic.. Before it was said and done, he had lost 175 gigs just poof gone.
5/20 - Our oldest daughter was supposed to perform the iconic solo by Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast as her final performance with Lifelight, her high school musical performance group. They went through a lot with the director trying to save the show, but in the end the director got CoVID and decided that was the final decision to cancel the show.... Heartbroken daughter praying she could still graduate that year.
6/20 - My daughter did get to graduate, which is a highlight to this entire sequence of events. She gave the speech to her class, and it was held outside as a drive-in graduation. As weird as that sounds, it was the coolest graduation imaginable with confetti cannons and fireworks.
10/26/20 - Tere's dad died after weeks on hospice and Tere having a falling out with her siblings that has not yet been fully repaired.
11/20 - On Thanksgiving my son was in so much pain that he couldn't enjoy Thanksgiving food. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday food. Turns out, he had an impacted wisdom tooth, and it would come out the following week.
12/29/20 - My husband's dad passed away following a course of unusual events. Turns out he was in a car accident. The airbags went off causing hematomas in his brain. He didn't realize it, however. A police officer drove him home after the accident, his car was totaled and towed away. My mother in law called my husband's sister the next morning saying dad wasn't acting right. She had no idea what had happened. When help arrived, my father in law was non responsive but alive. They sent him to the hospital that was supposed to be great with head injuries, but ended up transferring him on Christmas Eve to rehab, in my opinion far too soon. In rehab, he suffered a stroke and was sent back to the hospital but it was too late. He passed away in the hospital with my sister in law having to beg, and I mean beg, plead, and pray that the nurse would allow my husband in to see his dying dad.... due to Covid restrictions even though his case had nothing to do with Covid.
Fast forward to now, and we've experienced blessings, happiness, and all but somehow even the happy comes with stress.
My oldest daughter is now engaged, set to be married in December
My youngest daughter got a job at a young age and is dual enrolled in college, at 15. She cannot yet drive so I've become etaxi driver once again
My son had covid twice and developed health issues to which we are dealing and spending a fortune on
My oldest daughter also is dealing with health issues brought on most likely from all the trauma
Gigs for my husband are building, but then they suddenly go away if covid shows up again. Also, the activity directors he developed professional relationships with are quitting like there's no tomorrow. The new ones don't always know who he is, or they don't last long after booking him and then don't leave their calendar of events for the next director to take their place.
In August, my husband was driving home from having one van looked at to get fixed to pass inspection when a car backed out into him on a small highway by our house. It was not his fault in the least, but insurance dealings ensued. Now, that van is beat up waiting on a side mirror to drive legally.
His other van started making a squealing screeching sound and the shop can't look at it unless we leave it there for 3-5 days in hopes it will recreate the sound to determine the problem.
Meanwhile, I was driving home from helping my husband at his parent's house that they are still clearing out to sell, and a Ford F150 clammed into the back of my van. The good news is that there's really no visible damage. But, somehow it traumatized me and put me at a tipping point.
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