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Thursday, January 28, 2016

Ask Your Child These Questions

It's a post I've seen on Facebook several times but never really read through the responses. That is until I was alone in the car with my youngest, and we needed conversation. So, I tried to remember the questions by memory, which led to my asking additional questions that are not on the list.

I thought I would share what my children answered:

The question goes like this, and I will leave them blank in case you want to copy and put them into your Facebook post:

Without any prompting ask your child these questions and write down exactly what they say. It is a great way to see what they really think.

1. What is something I always say to you?
2. What makes you happy? 
3. What makes you sad? 
4. How do I make laugh?
5. What was I like as a kid?
6. How old am I?
7. How tall am I?
8. What is my favorite thing to do? 
9. What do I do when you are not around?
10. What am I good at?
11. What am I not good at doing.
12. What do I do for a job?
13. What is my favorite food?
14. What is your favorite thing to do with me?

The answers my children gave sometimes made me laugh, but one gave me pause. The question that gave me pause was one that is not on the list. I asked them what they dislike most about me. Both of them replied with when I'm mad, and my oldest explained she doesn't like it when people make me upset. This was eye-opening for me. I realized already that no one likes to see me mad, but to hear them say it made me take pause and wonder how often I express my frustrations and anger about people and situations. Do I get angry a lot? It doesn't matter, probably, because even one time is the thing my children hate most about me. But, when I then asked them what they liked most about me, they love when I spend time with them, especially  my oldest (somewhat surprising since she is so competent and independent).

And, here is how my children answered:

Daughter Age 9
1. What is something I always say to you? "Hi" was her first response, to which I probed deeper - That's it! That's all I say to you? Do I say anything else? She then responded:

"You say, we have a lot of things."  OK - I questioned that response deeper as well, to which she explained that she always says "I'm hungry and I don't know what to eat." And, I respond with, "Well, we have a lot of things in this house. Choose something."

Daughter Age 13
When I asked my older daughter the same question, she responded with "HELLO".  This just made me laugh, since her sister's response was "HI". And, she explained that I just don't talk much but I also read them scripture, so she threw that in as a secondary answer to what I say.


Son Age 15
You need to go to bed.

2. What makes you happy? 9 yo - Elephants and candy. Son  - When people listen to me. 13 yo - Everything. People.
3. What makes you sad? Both of their responses had to do with how people often make me sad. Feeling like no one cares.
4. How do I make you laugh? "By saying funny things." When you say something random out of the blue.

5. What was I like as a kid?
Daughter Age 9 and Son Age 15
"I don't know" But, I know you never had turnips, but that makes me happy because that means you will never feed them to me.

Daughter Age 13
"Like my younger sister. You were exactly like her."...... Pretty true!

6. How old am I? (They all knew and responded immediately, but I'm not sharing).
7. How tall am I? 5'5.5" (Only my oldest knew this one).
8. What is my favorite thing to do? My oldest said that I love to do crafts. She's right. My son said cleaning because I'm always happy when I do it.
9. What do I do when you are not around? "Write and list eBay" My son said clean.
10. What am I good at? "Writing" and my son said cleaning.
11. What am I not good at doing? Dealing with people
12. What do I do for a job? "Write and list eBay"
13. What is my favorite food? ...Neither could answer, because I like so many things. My son said some kind of vegetable.
14. What is your favorite thing to do with me? Shopping, going places and school. My oldest daughter answered how she likes it when I take her places and do school with them. My son said play a video game.

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