Joy For Christmas Day 25 - The Ultimate Gift of Joy is Jesus

Thank you for sticking around for all 25 days of Joy! Today, is the day we celebrate the ultimate gift of joy in Jesus coming to earth as fully human yet fully God in the form of a baby born in Bethlehem. He was born into humility and lived the life of one of us in order to give to us the gift of Joy and the hope of eternal life through his death and resurrection.

I hope this journey to joy over the past 25 days has brought more than just a smile to your face. I hope that your heart has been opened to receiving the only meaningful joy that lasts - The gift of believing in Jesus!

The Bible says that His name shall be called:

Wonderful

Counselor

Mighty God

Prince of Peace

In a very famous verse, John 3:16, it also says that when we believe on this name, we shall be saved!

For God so LOVED the world that He gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life!

May your life be everlasting, never ending; and, may it be filled with so much joy that you cannot contain it, that it bubbles over in abundance to the point that you have no choice but to share it with everyone you come into contact with as well as others whom you may never even physically meet face to face!

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

May God bless you in all His abundance of joy!

Joy For Christmas - Day 24 Anticipation

If Santa came to your house when you were little, do you remember the excitement of anticipation? If Santa never arrived for some reason or another, maybe you can recall excitement about a birthday coming up or some other special long-awaited event.

This anticipation stirs up joy! 

It's not an anxious, worried kind of anticipating. It's, rather, joy-filled with wonder and excitement.

Stir up that joy this Christmas Eve as we await the celebration of the promised Savior who was born years ago in Bethlehem to bring hope to a lost and dying world.

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy for Christmas - Day 23 Just Breathe

This close to Christmas, if you don't have everything checked off of your list, you're probably in a panic. Panic does not equate with joy (Obviously)

So, as simple as it sounds:

JUST BREATHE!

Seriously, breathe!

Breathe in, hold it, then out.

Breathe in, hold it, then out.

Breathe in, hold it, then out.

Do you feel the joy starting to invade every cell of your body?

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy for Christmas - Day 22 Bible Verses on Joy

Consider it joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3

Psalm 47:1 - Clap your hands all you nations, clap to God with sounds of joy!

You have enlarged the nations and increased their joy - Isaiah 9:3

Ecclesiastes 9:7 - Go eat your food with gladness and drink your wine with a joyful heart

Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit!

The prospects of the righteous is joy Proverbs 10:28

1 Peter 1:8-9 

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy for Christmas - Day 21 Joy of Rushing Waters

In the Book of Revelation, and probably elsewhere in the Bible, it talks about the voice of God being as rushing waters.

What does that have to do with joy?

If joy is found when we enter His presence, then it's nice to know what His voice sounds like so we know whether or not we have come into his presence enough to hear Him speak.

If you've ever been on a beach or heard rushing water, it's an amazing sound.

The sound of the waves crashing into the shore, or the sound of water rushing down a waterfall is oh so powerful that the strength and might of it could take out a city, yet it's also the most calming sound!

People even buy sound machines to help them sleep, and one of the most popular sounds is that of rushing water.

Please enjoy the lyrics to a song that I wrote on the beach:

Your voice oh Lord is like the rushing waters

Your voice oh Lord is like the rushing waters

Your spirit overcomes me like the wind

Your voice oh Lord is like the rushing waters

Like the rushing waters!

To download and listen for yourself (it's a very rough copy) - Find it on My Site under RUSHING WATERS

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy for Christmas - Day 20 Quiet Times Lead To Joy

Joy is often found in quiet!

If your house is like mine around the holidays, there is very little quiet to be found. Now, this is exciting. Yet, escaping away to capture a quiet moment is difficult. Add to it, that my hubby has a birthday just 4 days before Christmas every year, and where is the quiet time?

I don't know what that means for you, finding quiet. I find that I have to create the quiet. I set my alarm early to grab any minute of solace I can. 

There is something in those quiet moments that I feel closer to God, and I am able to experience JOY!

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Joy for Christmas 25 Days of Joy - Day 19 The Art of Joy

Often, we find joy when we express ourselves through art. Even if we can't draw, or think we can't draw, put on some music and go to town until you feel joy!

Coloring and art doesn't stop when we are kids. Adult coloring books have become all the rage, and even if you don't care for the idea, there are plenty of artistic ways to express your joy.

Paint, sing, sew, write a poem!

However you feel artsy or craftsy or creative - Express your joy!

If you can't muster anything up - Start here with a coloring sheet of JOY!

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy for Christmas - Day 18 Songs of Joy

How many songs do we hear and sing that express joy?

The Psalms talk about praising God and singing with joy!

But, there are also modern day songs that express joy as well. Of course, there are the Christmas songs like Joy to the World, but there are others as well that express joy. If you can't think of any, make a new song unto the Lord!

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy - Day 17 Happiness Is Not Always Joy

Maybe you've heard it said before, or maybe it's just something that runs in the circles of those of us who studied psychology in college. I don't know, but the concept is that happiness is not joy!

The first time I heard this, it perplexed me.

But, then I opened up y thinking to try to understand what was meant by it.

It's true. We use the words joy and happiness oftentimes interchangeably, and it's true that the two tend to go hand in hand. But, sometimes the two are actually quite different.

Happiness is an emotion that even some of the simplest forms of life is able to experience.

Joy, on the other hand, is so much more! Joy is more than an emotion but is rather something that speaks to our spirit. As strange as it sounds, we can be joyful without feeling happy. It is that peace that passes all understanding when we stand in the midst of pain and sense a deep, unexplainable joy.

Having said that, it's ok to be happy.

The Bible says that God is the lifter of our countenance. This implies that he will make our faces to look happy as he lifts our hearts from heaviness.

Make sure your happiness is grounded in true joy and not in selfish ambitions that create a spark of fleeting happy times but leave no long-lating substance of joy.

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Joy for Christmas - Day 16 A Puppy's Boundless Joy

Have you ever seen a puppy, or a family's loyal dog, greet its owner after he or she has been gone all day? There is boundless energy and endless joy with tails wagging and licking and leaping. Some dogs seem to think that whenever the owner is out of sight, they may never ever come back again. When they do return, the joy is just immeasurable. Such relief! Such happiness!

How do I muster up that kind of joy?

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

As silly as it may sound, this Christmas, let's pretend we are someone's family pet who is greeting its long-lost owner.

Someone In Your LIfe Brings You Joy - Day 15 Joy for Chrstmas 25 Days of Joy

There is someone in your life who brings you joy.

Just, sit and think for a moment who that might be. 

Of course, God and His Spirit bring joy, but for the purpose of today's joy, I'm talking about those physical flesh and blood people, or that one person, in your life here on earth who brightens your day just by thinking of them.

Maybe this special person has already gone on to heaven. Maybe, it was or is a pet who is always anxious to greet you.

As much as people baffle me with their rudeness and selfish nature, it is my belief that God puts people into our lives for a purpose. Sometimes, that purpose is to spark joy. No doubt, there is at least one person in your life who stirs up this kind of joy for you.

Maybe, they are not who you would expect. Sometimes, these people are the ones who annoy us the most but somehow know how to get under our skin to prompt what we need to generate joy.

Of course, we are not to depend upon this person or this animal to be our only source for joy. Only God can fill that hole. Though, if you are so blessed as to have a special joy-giving person in your life or a joy-giving pet, take a moment today to thank God for this and to embrace the joy they provide.

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy for Christmas - Fruits of the Spirit Day 14

And, the fruits of the Spirit are:

Love

J O Y

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Self Control

Look at that!

The second fruit listed is Joy! Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. What is the fruit of the Spirit?

The fruit of a tree is the produce, the end result of that plant coming to fruition. An apple tree produces apples. A peach tree produces peaches. The purpose of that tree is to produce a specific kind of fruit.

The Bible says that we shall know His disciples by their fruit.

This means that our lives are going to produce a certain kind of "fruit", whether that fruit stems from our sinful nature or reflects the presence of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit has certain characteristics that are revealed in us when we walk in the Spirit. These characteristics are called fruit.

If we are lacking any of these fruits, we probably need to draw nearer to God and be open to allowing the Spirit into our hearts. After all, I'd hate to be planted as an oak tree but instead of acorns produce pumpkins or figs or cabbage. While, I love pumpkins and cabbage, and there's nothing wrong with figs, there would be something terribly strange about an oak tree producing these crops. Its branches were not designed to hold up the weight of a pumpkin. The strong acid in the oak would probably turn a fig bitter, and cabbage is meant to be grown and protected by the soil in the ground, not hanging from a branch for birds to devour.

When I refuse to walk in the fruits of the Spirit, I deny the very nature of what I was created for.

I choose joy! How about you?

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy Reality Therapy - Day 13 Just Smile

When I was in college, I studied human services. One of the theories of styles of therapies that I learned about was something called Reality Therapy.

In general, this means that you go through the motions, the steps, until you accomplish what you are setting out to accomplish - Usually, this means mustering up a feeling. Even though you don't feel it - You just go through the motions until you do. This is how it is with joy sometimes.

It's going to sound so simple, and naysayers will say, but you have to feel something in your heart before it truly means anything. But, that's really not always the case. Sometimes, it's in the action of doing that the feeling is born.

Just start with a smile. Keep smiling until you feel the joy!

While joy is far deeper than happiness, the act of smiling does so much for lifting our spirits and emotions. When we smile at someone, they tend to smile back. When we smile, we look happy, even if we don't feel it.

I'm not talking about putting on a mask to fool everyone around us while we are aching inside. I'm talking about going through the motions of gladness even when we don't feel happy. Not with the intent of masking pain, but rather with the intent of generating joy.

It start like this - SMILE! Just smile. It may begin as a grimace, but that's a start. They say it takes 3 weeks of doing something before it becomes a habit. So, set out to purposefully smile for 3 weeks. When you notice your face has gone somber, change it to a smile. When you see people, smile at them. When you feel anger or emotions that are about to steal your joy creep in, smile instead. If after 3 weeks of smiling in exchange for other more damaging expressions, you still don't feel even a tinge of joy - Then, maybe the reality therapy isn't what is going to do it for you. But, it's worth a try.

JUST SMILE!

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Joy from Loss with 25 Days of Joy - Day 12 Joy For Christmas

Think of a time when you felt filled with exuberant joy.

The year my third baby was born. She was my rainbow baby - A baby born after a miscarriage or pregnancy loss. In my case, after 3 losses through miscarriage.

The pregnancy was full of fear, but every turn of fear was quickly switched to hope as my entire church prayed for the entire pregnancy.

But, that's not all.

God doesn't just answer prayer - He gives in abundance - More than you could ever hope or imagine. And, that was the case with me.

Every step of the pregnancy was a miracle. But, every step went far above and beyond what I could ever hope or dream or imagine.

Let's start with the loss, because often joy comes through loss or pain.

It started with the unexpected loss of three pregnancies. The first one came very unexpectedly, after two non-complicated pregnancies and births of my son and my daughter, I was pregnant again. But, this time, it would end far too soon and oh so painfully. But, while that one would be the longest pregnancy that I would experience only to have it end in miscarriage, it was the second one that hurt the most. Even the third miscarriage didn't hurt as badly, though it did put me into a several-year stupor of numbness.

It was the second loss that hurt so deeply. I think because the second miscarriage was what I thought was my gift of redemption, only it came to a tragic end instead.  See, the first baby I lost in miscarriage happened in September of 2003. The third baby would have been due to be born in September, 2005. Only, this child was never meant to be held in my arms. But, the second baby that hurt so badly seemed to be my redemption. This baby would have been born in 2004. I held onto hope that this baby was going to be God's way of saying, I've heard your tears, and I'm sending you redemption. But, that one was not meant to be held in my arms either. I guess because I had thought that my hope for life rested in this baby is why it hurt so badly.

So, when I became pregnant in early 2006, I was filled with fear. But, God had a plan of joy for me instead.

I didn't even have the pregnancy verified by a medical professional until I was well past the "safety" date of my other losses.

I began to pray

We asked our congregation to join us in prayer

I had a close friend who brought me food and took my other 2 children places while I rested

I was still so full of fear

But, there were signs of God through it all, and ultimately He would share with me so much incredible joy.

First - I thought she was going to be a boy, but God had placed the name Eliana on my heart. I dismissed it till the 9th month when I decided to Google its meaning only to discover the name means:

I am the Lord who Answers

Second - September had become a month of despair and loss and tragedy, but while she was due to be born in October, God saw fit to bring her forth in Setpember instead. Not only did he truly redeem September for me, but he had her born on the Sabbath of Rosh Hashanah.   Now, if you are unfamiliar with this date - It is the Jewish New Year celebration, when things are made new again.

Happy Rosh Hashanah - Here's Eliana!

Third - I had always wanted a home birth, and actually a water birth, but I was a bit too afraid to do so in case something went wrong. BUT GOD, saw to it that my labor was short and that my baby came so quickly that there was no time to get to the hospital. Not only was she born at home, but my husband was the first to greet her, delivering her into his arms.  And, I only missed the water birth by a few minutes. Had I stayed in the jacuzzi where I was laboring, she would have been born in water as well.

There are many more small details that God saw to it to bring to my attention as He truly redeemed my loss and turned it into joy.

I was walking on a cloud for years after her birth.

This is my story of joy from loss. What's yours?

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Day 11 of 25 Day of Joy for Christmas - I Need You To Share A Piece of That Joy With Me

Today is a big day for me... and my daughter, and her friend. It is the day when we see For King and Country with Lauren Daigle in the Christmas show. If you ask my daughter, it is a day of joy. If you ask me, however, it has been a week of gearing up for a loud, crowded auditorium preceded by my driving across town to first pick up a friend, sit for about 5 hours through a Q&A and attempt to get the girls to meet the band, and then dropping off friend before arriving home to my comfy, cozy introvert palace of peace.

How do I tap into my daughter's joy?

Let me give you a back story to how this all came down - It started in September, when the tickets went on sale. My daughter talked me into convincing my hubby to take her to the show. As I went online to get the tickets, I saw the seats were selling quickly, and so we also purchased a ticket for my daughter's friend who could not go with her parent, because her mom had to work and her dad would need to watch the younger siblings. So, I snatched up 3 tickets intended for my daughter, her friend, and my husband who would do all of the driving and sitting through the concert..... Neither of which are my thing.

Then, the day came when my husband realized he had double booked, or rather triple booked, his day for the day of the concert. he proceeded to cancel one performance he had scheduled and take on the second booking that wanted to add an hour to his show and pay more money, which we desperately are in need of. This meant that he was cutting it close to make it to the concert on time let alone pick up a friend. So, as I began figuring out how to get the girls to the show, As the days went on, he also realized that the band in which he is doing a reunion show with needed to practice on Sunday, and if he couldn't make it to rehearsal, he would have to reschedule and juggle make-up lessons for his guitar students the following week in an effort to get together with his band for rehearsal. I realized that it made the most sense for me to just take them.

There was no joy in this for me!

So, I spent the week gearing up for a hyper social weekend. The weekend would not only consist of my driving two girls to and sitting through a concert, but would begin on Saturday with my shuttling this same daughter back and forth and attending her dessert theater performance of a Christmas 1940s radio drama the night before the concert.

While, this might muster up excitement for you extroverts, it was:

TOO MUCH SOCIAL ACTIVITY FOR THIS INTROVERT WHO HAS PANIC ATTACKS AT THE THOUGHT OF IT ALL!

So, how does one muster up joy in a situation that leaves them out of their comfort zone...... So very far out of their comfort zone?

I looked to my daughter. I began to tap into her joy. I saw that this concert meant so much to her. She has been counting down to it for days and jumps with thrilled joy at the very mention of it. How do I share in this joy?

Her joy would have to bubble over so much that it would touch my lack of enthusiasm, bordering on panic at the thought of driving, being responsible for another person's teen, and sitting in a crowded arena. Her joy would have to be so abundant that she could share it with me.

That's how it is with God's joy. In situations where He gives peace that passes all human understanding, there is joy. He is so filled with Joy, his very being and nature is joy. It's there for us to tap into if we only have the desire and make a step toward this abundance of joy.

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Joy for Christmas - Giving Brings Joy Day 10

You've no doubt heard it said that it's more blessed to give than to receive. Though, when receiving something amazing, it doesn't seem possible to feel more joy in the giving.

It's true, though!

Even in our lack, when it seems we have absolutely nothing to give, giving brings joy to our lives.

Try it!

Seek out opportunities to give.

Don't go hog wild and steal from your family things they need to give to others. Instead, really pray about who you can give to, and what you can give. Sometimes, it means giving something we really don't need but someone else will be blessed by.

It is out of God's abundance that He shares with us, so use that model of giving to share with others and watch the joy multiply.

What do you have in abundance? Find someone who needs what you have, and give!

Do you have an abundance of time - give your time?

Do you have an abundance of health - use your strength and energy to drive someone to the doctor or errands, clean their house, watch their children, or physically help where needed.

Do you have an abundance of canned goods? Give to a canned good drive.

Do you have an abundance of smiles - Smile at everyone you see.

Do you have an abundance of money? Give.

What if you do not have an abundance of anything?

Do you have $5? Buy a gift card to a fast food restaurant, gas station, or department store. Try to forego telling yourself that it's only $5, what can $5 do?

Honestly, $5 can do a lot. It can bring joy to someone who truly needs that $5 for a meal or for a gallon or two of gas or socks or whatever. It means more than you can probably imagine.

If nothing else, the very gesture of giving is a two-way street. It brings awareness to the receiver that someone really is thinking of them, and it brings joy to the giver knowing that you have put a smile in someone's heart.

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

25 Days of Joy Acrostic Puzzle - Joy for Christmas Day 9

It's a short word, so it should be easy to form an acrostic out of it, right? What exactly is an acrostic?

An acrostic puzzle is taking the first letters of a word and making a bit of a poem out of it. So, here goes:

Jubilantly

Observing

Your life

OK, that's two words for Y, so let's try that again:

Jesus

Others

Yourself

OR

Jehovah

One with

You

OR

Just

Oust

Yucky thoughts

OR

Join

Often

Youth

OR

Jam

Out

Yawns

Justify

Ourselves

Yet

Face

Ultimate

Love

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Joy For Christmas - Day 7 The Thesaurus Of Joy

On Day 7 of 25 Days of Joy:

I decided to check what the Thesaurus says about joy. A thesaurus shows you synonyms, same meaning words. It also provides you with a list of antonyms, opposite of JOY! Here's what the Thesaurus has to say about JOY:

Words that have similar or the same meaning as JOY:

amusement

bliss

charm

cheer

comfort

delight

elation

glee

humor

satisfaction

wonder

ecstasy

exultation

festivity

frolic

fruition

gaiety

gem

gladness

gratification

hilarity

solace

treasure

ANTONYMS OF JOY:

depression - melancholy - misery - sadness - discouragement - sorrow - mourning - woe

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Joy for Christmas - Day 6 The Light Of Joy Flooded The Room

In my pursuit to re-attain joy in time for Christmas, I have been reminded of some happenings in my life which I had partially forgotten.

One such happening occurred years ago, when I was in my 20's. Please bear with me as I tell the story of what happened, because it is 100% true but may sound a bit odd if you have never experienced anything on a spiritual level.

The true story begins as I was alone in my house. The circumstances in my life at the time were a bit disjointed. I had been dating a boy I thought I would marry. We dated for 5 1/2 years before I finally had the courage to break it off, and that only after he had gone out on me and impregnated another girl. I even stayed with him after the baby was born, and I held that little one to quiet his crying before my fiance at the time and his new girl/mother of his child decided to give the baby up for adoption. This break up was so traumatic and painful for me.

I went on with my life in an attempt to find happiness. I began dating someone else, who soon received a job offer out of state and needed someone to occupy his house until he could sell it. That someone became me.

So, it was that house that I sat alone in.

At the time, I was working full time in the evenings and going to college full time during the day while also completing two practicums for my human services degree - one at a probation and parole office nearby and the other at the suicide hotline life crisis services also nearby. My time was full in an attempt to get on with my life and make something of it.

One night, I sat very depressed, and suicidal myself!

I was angry! I had reason to be, I suppose. But, it was against my nature to give into anger. Hence, this anger often turned into depression which in turn became enticing to end it all.

I sat there in my room all alone, angry and depressed, and I began to have it out with God. As if my mere humanity was a match for my creator. I sat there bold-faced, face-to-face angrily asking my Lord why he even let me be born in the first place if my life was to be filled with such hurt and pain.

I admit, I didn't hold anything back. I looked up to heaven and laid it all bare.

When I had screamed and yelled and carried on for quite awhile and had come to a point where I had no more to say, I just sat there in the quiet.

It was dark by this time, and my room door was shut. I sat on the floor curled up, rocking with my knees against my chest.

I heard the silence break. Now, I'm not sure if this was an audible voice or if I only heard the voice in my spirit. Nonetheless, one way or the other, I heard a voice clearly say:

"Are you finished?"

Yes. I suppose I was. So, I turned my yelling into listening.

What happened next is the part I will never forget and the part that makes no scientific or physical sense. But, it happened.

I heard the voice tell me:

"I created you because I had so much JOY that I wanted to share it with YOU!"

As the voice spoke, I saw a visual light pour in from underneath my door.

The light could not have come from anywhere but from the the throne of God. It was deep into the night by this point. There were no street lights and no lights on in my home. Yet, this light poured into my room underneath that door like honey flowing.

In it was a lightness, a feeling as if my anger just dissolved and nothing else mattered but allowing that light to engulf me.

IT WAS JOY!

And, God - my maker - wanted to share it with me. The very reason he made me was to fill me with His JOy!

Is joy something you can muster up all by yourself? I really don't think so. I really believe that true joy is only found when we are in the presence of God. The Bible says:

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11